rabbit blog


Wednesday, March 03, 2010


NEWSFLASH: OLD PEOPLE LESS CUTE

Lately I've been noticing that I have to work hard all the time, much more often than I did when I was young and single and got drunk every night. Is that fair? Also, I'm not as plucky and adorable as I was when I was younger, so that when I do get drunk, people don't giggle enthusiastically at the things I say. Instead they look uncomfortable and back away slowly. What am I supposed to do, forget the lyrics to Dr. Dre's "Ain't Nothin' But a G Thing" overnight? Pretend I don't still know the snake?

When my friendy Ken Layne announced that he was starting an advice column on true/slant, naturally I immediately asked him for some guidance regarding the extreme burden of taking care of small people and animals while simultaneously growing older and uglier and lamer, a burden one is expected to endure without getting fall-down drunk around the clock. He has helpfully offered some tips here, and you should go read it now, because he may just help you, too.

Now I have to write him another letter, because I need lots of help, particularly from people who don't mind using words to wrestle me to the ground and grind my face into the carpet.

12:43 PM



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me
staff writer at salon.com, co-creator of filler, author of the memoir disaster preparedness due from riverhead press in fall 2010


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real brand managers of nyc
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faster, pregnant lady!
gen x apology
recessionary bending
expecting the worst
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